Relating to Vietnam Veterans

It’s imperative for an artist to review other works to gauge an understanding of their own visual expression. With that in mind, I have been researching nonstop and just can’t seem to find enough material regarding the affects of war. I’m a sponge if I find something I relate to. A friend introduced me to the movie Born On The Fourth of July (1989),  which tells the story of a disabled Vietnam Veteran. While I may have seen it in the past I never soaked it in, likely due to a lack of an empathetic bond. Well, my eyes and heart were glued to the TV. Vietnam is similar to OIF/OEF with corruption and a general lack of necessary care for our Veterans, yet complete opposite (for some) in terms of the combat experience. It was humbling to be able to relate to the pain and corruption represented in the movie. I was thinking that a veteran must’ve written the script because no one else could depict the agony like it did. As it turns Ron Kovic, a veteran, wrote the book. I ordered the Kindle version immediately.

Mr. Kovic saw and felt unimaginable horror during and after Vietnam. My war experience can’t be compared to such pain, can it? He ended up paralyzed and saw things that I could not bare to see. He was treated in horrific hospital conditions.  So unalike, but so familiar… For ease of understanding I decided to make a list and abbreviate long-winded explanations of some similar views and experiences between Mr. Kovic and myself:

·      Re-experiencing the war at home, aka flashbacks

·      Not understanding how the war was corrupt until I got shit on which lead to my wake-up call

·      Realizing it’s a rich man’s war and we’re all disposable

·      Longing to feel normal

·      Resilient in the wrong ways (hiding from my pain with booze)

·      How my injury setbacks killed my resiliency

·      Visions of myself during a happier time and longing to get back there

o   Physical and mental

·      How my empathetic nature and will to do good was put on the backburner due to my injuries

·      ANGER – “I deserve to be treated like a human being”

·      Lost patience (want my normal back right the F’ NOW) making me angrier

·      The inability to ask for help – confusion over pride

·      Old photos of happier times are unbearable to look at

·      People assume you’re less intelligent due to memory loss, hypervigilance, etc.

·      Countless sacrifices didn’t have to be made; Saddam & Osama could have been dealt with in a much less costly way

·      “I served my government… they just want to keep taking… how could we win in a situation like that”?

·      Friends/family ignoring war discussions, in turn caused me to isolate even more

·      Loud noises… they all sound like gunfire (fear of the very holiday that celebrates our independence/freedoms because of the noise)

·      Don’t want to be pitied; just want people to “try” to understand and give a little compassion

·      The joy I feel when I’m around other Veterans/family members of Veterans – they just get it

·      I don’t feel like me anymore…

·      Feel like I failed because I got injured

·      “I’d give anything to feel whole again”

This list really doesn’t scratch the surface, but a more thorough observation is better served in a book, not a blog.

The Vietnam veterans are just NOW getting help (WTF). Now, while all the recent vets are coming home for help… The government didn’t plan this out well, did they? I’m limited on what I can say here…

It’s humbling and depressing to be able to relate so much with this movie. Sometimes the wounds only sting when you’re reminded of them. But they won’t heal unless you face what you think you can’t.

To all past, present and future Veterans: We must take a stand. Nothing is going to change unless we do.

Yours Truly